Here are the top PUA books that I recommend you read:
Okay, you got me, it’s my book, so maybe I’m a little biased ;-) But people seem to really like it… I wrote this book after having experienced a huge amount of failure with women, and then turning it into a huge amount of success. It was written with one type of person in mind… the guy that every guy wants to be around women… a complete natural.
I cover every area of game, with no fluff or filler, just technique after technique, with nothing held back.
NLP has been a big part of my game, I used it to gain better control over my beliefs and emotions, to boost my confidence, and later to persuade and influence. It can be used during conversation to build a deep level of rapport.
If you can choose just one NLP book, this is the one to go for to get a broad understanding of the subject and give you many many usable tools.
Ok so if you haven’t read this book yet, you’re missing out. Neil Strauss is a fantastic writer and he was the guy who took the whole community from a shady underground forum coated society, to a thriving community that you see today.
It’s a great read, so I really recommend you pick this one up.
Order all 3 today. Simply click on the button below and you’ll be taken to Amazon where all 3 books will be added to your shopping cart:
So that’s my PUA Quick Start Guide. But of course there are other books out there…
Taking Things Deeper
The above books are what you need if you are getting started, and obviously my book is essential regardless ;-)
But what if you want to delve deeper into areas of personal development, becoming a better man, or just read some interesting and potentially life changing books? Here are some more recommendations:
NLP, Hypnosis and Psychology
When I look at the books that made a big difference in my life, a lot of them fall into these categories.
Over a few years, I took better control of my own mind and emotions, and also became a much more effective communicator and more empathetic and sensitive to others’ feelings.
If you map this onto skill sets, you are really talking about inner game, outer game, and perceptiveness/reading situations. So it’s all good stuff ;-) The biggest influencers in this area for me were Milton Erickson and Richard Bandler.
Milton Erickson is one of my heroes. He was attacked by Polio as a child, expected to die, and ended up paralysed. First he observed his younger brothers and sisters learning to walk and used visualisation of his muscles working and his limbs moving.
Over time he regained full use of his body. Subsequent attacks set him back and gave him intense pain. He learned how to use hypnosis for pain control and a whole badass collection of other hypnosis techniques that he used to help others.
If there is one person who ever lived whose abilities I would like, it would be Milton H. Erickson.
He became the world’s leading family therapist and hypnosis, well known for being the “last resort” when no one else could help someone and for using “shock” and “rapid” therapy to quickly help someone.
Milton Erickson was a master of language and persuasion. A master of reading people. And an all round great guy. I recommend all books by or about him, but some good ones to start are:
And the books in this series.
On my bookshop at home, I probably have about 30 books by or about him, but reading one or two of these will tell you whether you want to get into it as deeply as I did.
Bandler is weird, but he also invented NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming, the pseudo science that is 50% bullshit and 50% really cool useful stuff.
The bullshit is just as funny – see the story about a woman who supposedly could change her perception of time so that she could see things like a fly and then beat up black belt martial artists with ease.
Bandler spawned Tony Robbins and endless other self-help gurus and coaches. The core of NLP is really great stuff for Inner Game, beliefs, and also influencing others.
Unfortunately there are also tons of frickin weird people who follow it. I recommended “introduction to NLP” above, but if you want to go deeper into it, then I strongly recommend these books. They had a big effect on me, are low on bullshit, and are much better than doing most of the expensive NLP courses:
These books are expensive but they don’t lose value. Buy them and sell them after to read them for free… if you don’t want to keep them ;-)
When you are living in the world today, going to nightclubs where you are surrounded by superficiality, when you have people telling you you need an expensive car to get girls.
I got a lot of my grounding from occasionally reading a book by Alan Watts. He is the guy who brought a lot of Eastern religion to the West. He is funny, intelligent, and his books and audio are great.
“You’re It” is a nice starter because you can listen to him and he is a great speaker.
or check out “Become Who You Are” if you prefer to read.
Finally, another book I really like. It makes you think and could just change you in nice ways. Prometheus Rising, check out the reviews and see if it looks good to you.
PUA Toolkit Classics
Back in the day I bought a ton of books that were recommended in the PUA world. They ranged from books with magic tricks (like I said, long time ago) to books about conversation or body language.
Some of the ones that I credit with helping enhance my game in some way are:
Made me understand humour better:
Taught me how to see and use status:
David Deangelo has a bunch of good recommendations too, for the toolkit, check out this list. Not all of them are useful, but you might find a few that you’d like to check out.
Leaning Languages: Whenever I travel to a new country, I always like to learn at least a few words of the language. Even just a sentence or two or being able to say “hello” or “thank you” will please people (except in France ;-)).
You often get the best response in countries where no one usually bothers to learn the language, like Swedish. The best language learning company I’ve found is Pimsluer.
I’ve done a bunch of their courses including Chinese, Brazilian Portuguese, and Russian.
The Teaching Company: My school years were useless… mostly. I read about one full book in all my years of English classes – Lord of the Flies. Teachers all thought I was stupid and put me in the bottom classes.
When I was about 21 I decided I wanted to smarten up and actually started to find some subjects that I previously hated really interesting – history, economics, science. I started reading a lot, and listening to lectures by The Teaching Company.
They have some really cool stuff. Have a browse around their site and see if it intrigues you. Look at The Great Courses to start with.
Inspirational and stuff ;-) (Biographies)
When you read books about great people, it makes you work harder, achieve more, and gives you energy and inspiration. If you don’t have amazing role models around you, it can also supply “virtual” ones. Some to get you started:
This one was number one in the charts forever..so you probably already read it, if not, you should. It’s inspirational and shows you how passion and hard work can help you do amazing things. Being a one-of-a-kind genius helps too. But still, it’s tough to be lazy after reading this.
The richest man who ever lived ($600bn in today’s money) and the biggest ever Philanthropist – he lived simply and gave away over 95% of his fortune. It’s an inspirational story, teaches you a lot about the history of the time, and is a great read.
The biggest over-achiever of all time? Probably Alexander the Great. His personal tutor was Aristotle, and he conquered the whole world in his twenties. Forget the crappy Colin Farrell film and read the book:
This book is, in some ways a downer, because you find out that Agassi didn’t like tennis, but it’s really gripping. So, just read it ;-)
Tesla was amazing, he invented so many things and his autobiography is much more interesting than Edison’s.
Business and Entreprenuership
If you are in a company, books like those by Jack Welch or Drucker or classics like ‘Good to Great’ might be the way to go. If you want to start your own small business and settle for a paltry million or ten vs creating the next Apple, then you need to check out some different books.
For small business owners, or wanna be entrepreneurs, I recommend these two. Quick reads that will really help, but that have unfortunate titles that make them sound like get-rich-quick books:
and this one if you feel like a third:
How to read more and be more productive
Do you have time to read for three hours a day but just can’t stick it? You constantly get distracted and end up reading a few pages then running off to check email or do something else? These tools will help:
A Kindle. “oh I don’t like kindle, I read on my iPad!” Yeah I hear that a lot, but how can a book compete with Facebook, Angry Birds, and your email? Answer is that it can’t, so use a device that is just for reading. As a bonus it won’t mess up your eyesight! Don’t bother with the touch or fire, it’s supposed to be simple and old-school, so just get this one for the tiny sum of $80.
Audio brainwave entrainment stuff. Oooh, weird… yeah it is, but it helps you concentrate and is very cool. Try this app, put it on when you read, and watch how your powers of concentration and memory multiply many-fold. (also use it for exams ;-)) It puts your brain into a focused state.
That’s one app I have, but there are many others that are probably good too.
If you just want to buy an MP3 rather than using an app, search for “Hemi-sync super learning”, it’s what I am listening to as I write this post… and I’ve done it without taking a break, checking email, or chatting to the people around me ;-)
Audio books: When your eyes are tired, when you are in the bath, cooking, walking, or even playing computer games, you can’t read, but you can listen.
Don’t try and listen to Dickens or Dostoevsky on audio book, complicated sentences and language are tougher to follow on audio than in written form. Biographies, self-help, and business books are great. You can get a membership at Audible.com that will work out as much better value than simply buying each book individually.
Combine the above and you should be able to read 5x as much as you were before.
Okay guys, hope that helps, let me know in the comments if there are any books that really changed your life.